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Understanding Honor (Part 7) — Honoring Ourselves


You may have seen that title and thought I was going to talk about how wrong it is to honor ourselves.  Not exactly.

It is true that we should not boast, try to draw attention to ourselves, or otherwise seek to manipulate people to give us honor.  Jesus had a few things to say about the hypocrites  who stood on the street corner and let everybody know about their great spirituality (Matthew 6:1-16).  But, in this post, I want to present the positive aspect of respecting ourselves because we are the Lord’s possession.

We have great value, simply because we are His.  I mentioned in an earlier post that all people are to be honored because they are God’s creation.  That includes you.  Beyond our value as created beings, Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 6:20 that we are “bought with a price.”  That price was the suffering and death of God’s own Son.  We are costly jewels in His sight, and therefore should treat ourselves as such.

Too many of us, due to emotional wounds that we have received, dishonor ourselves in our minds and in our speech.  “I am no good.”  “God doesn’t love me.”  “I don’t think anyone could love me.”  “I am ugly.”  “I am unworthy.”  “I am not as good as so-and-so.”  “I am stupid.”  “God can’t use me.”  These are all lies.

Some of us have been taught by our families or our church culture that putting ourselves down is the modest way to speak and think.  We argue when people try to compliment us on our appearance, a character strength, or a job well done. This is a false humility, though.  Any “humility” that causes us to say things that do not line up with what God says about us is false.

Really, righteous honoring of ourselves is all about accepting the honor which God bestows upon us and confidently walking in it.  We will wrap up this series by expanding on that thought next time.

Previous: Understanding Honor (Part 6) — Church Leadership
Next: Understanding Honor (Part 8) — The Lord’s Reward


All-Surpassing Peace in a Shaking World, by Lee Ann Rubsam


Understanding Honor (Part 6) — Church Leadership


Hebrews 13:17 Obey those who have the rule over [oversee] you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as those who must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief — for that is unprofitable for you. 

Honoring church leadership seems to be a lost art in our day, but quite frankly, God commands it – including obedience to them. 

I understand that there are abuses.  I went through the Shepherding Movement back in the 70’s and early 80’s, and experienced its extremes firsthand.  Yes, some church leaders are control freaks.  But a lot of them aren’t. 

Life in the Spirit is about freedom, not bondage.  “… Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty” (2 Corinthians 3:17). We have to balance between not permitting controlling people to enslave us and humbly submitting ourselves in accountability to godly leadership. 

In order to rightly discern whether someone is “controlling” or whether we are the ones with the issues, we must understand what’s going on inside of us personally.  I’ve seen good pastors who were not control freaks be accused of that — but the real problem was that their accusers did not want to receive much-needed correction.  Know your own heart before you paste labels on your leadership.  But if you are in a control environment, you don’t have to stay there.  Find the church where God wants you to be, under a godly shepherd who knows how to honor his congregation. 

1 Timothy 5:17 Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in the word and doctrine. 

The literal meaning of “double honor” in this verse is concerning finances.  Corporately, the local church should honor good leadership by paying them well for the hard work they do.  Individually, we honor them by giving generous offerings to support their ministry.  If you don’t tithe and give offerings in your local fellowship, you are dishonoring your pastor.  You will inevitably put your money where your heart is. 

What we say about our church leaders is a strong indicator of whether we honor them in our hearts.  Having the pastor for lunch — shredding who he is and what he preaches at the dinner table — is not acceptable in God’s sight.  Numbers 12 is the story of Miriam and Aaron having a grumbling session, because they did not like some of the things Moses was doing.  God made it quite clear that He was not happy with their behavior.  I don’t think any of us would want God to deal with us similarly.

Our leaders are going to make mistakes — lots of them.  But give them grace.  Support them.  Love them.  “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy” (Matthew 5:7). 

Honoring God-ordained leadership by receiving their correction, embracing their vision, supporting that vision with our finances, and pulling alongside them in oneness of heart brings God’s favor upon us, while bucking their authority, withholding finances, and speaking disrespectfully of them thwarts our ability to come into the full destiny that God intends for us.

Previous: Understanding Honor (Part 5) — Those in Authority  
Next: Understanding Honor (Part 7) — Honoring Ourselves


All-Surpassing Peace in a Shaking World, by Lee Ann Rubsam


Understanding Honor (Part 5) — Those in Authority


We’ve been talking about God’s principle that in order to receive honor, we must first honor God and honor other people.  Giving honor is the prerequisite for receiving it.  Let’s go on with our list of honoring people. 

Employers – It’s not always easy, is it.  Sometimes we see the failings in our bosses, ways things could be done better, and unfair treatment of employees.  No matter who you work for, it is going to happen on some level.  What should our response be? 

1.)  Let as many servants as are under bondage count their own masters worthy of all honor, so that the name of God and his doctrine is not blasphemed. — 1 Timothy 6:1 

We’ve got to remember at all times that the world around us is watching.  We can either glorify God by working with excellence and showing respect to our employer, or we can turn our employer and the other employees away from ever coming to know the Lord by our actions and speech. 

2.)  Slaves, you must obey your earthly masters. Show them great respect and be as loyal to them as you are to Christ.  Try to please them at all times, and not just when you think they are watching. You are slaves of Christ, so with your whole heart you must do what God wants you to do. Gladly serve your masters, as though they were the Lord himself, and not simply people. You know that you will be rewarded for any good things you do, whether you are slaves or free.Ephesians 6:5-8 (CEV) 

Just about anything that applied to slaves in Bible times can be applied in our day to our work environment.  God expects us to serve on the job, gladly, as though we were serving Jesus Himself.  Christians should be known as the hardest working, most dependable employees in the company, and they should be the most respectful.  It is not in God’s order to be complaining about the boss.  It is God’s blessing to have a job, and if the one you have is not one you can be grateful for, you have the option of finding a different one.  If you bless the employer you work for, God is going to see to it that you are blessed in return.  So, whether you have a great boss or a difficult one, the principle is the same: honor him. 

3.)  And masters, treat them the same way, without threatening them, because you know that both their and your Master is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with Him. – Ephesians 6:9 (HCSB)

Employers, it works both ways.  In our day and age, your employees are not slaves.  Neither are they machines without feelings.  Employees need to be respected and cared for. 

Government leaders – “Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king” (1 Peter 2:17). 

So much has been preached about obeying, respecting, and praying for our government leaders already, yet it seems that so many of us still are disrespectful of them.  Maybe it is time we read through Romans 13:1-7 (obedience and respect) and 1 Timothy 2:1-4 (praying for them) again. 

No matter how ungodly a President or other government leader may be, if we speak scornfully of him or wish evil upon him, we are being just as ungodly.  You may not be able to respect the person in the office, but honor him in your speech for the sake of the office.  Pray for government leaders, for their salvation and for wisdom in decision-making.  Prayer for others changes our heart toward them. 

Previous: Understanding Honor (Part 4) — Who Should Receive It? 
Next: Understanding Honor (Part 6) — Church Leadership


All-Surpassing Peace in a Shaking World, by Lee Ann Rubsam


Understanding Honor (Part 4) — Who Should Receive It?


We said that on the most basic level, all people are to be honored, just because they are human, created by God in His image.  The Bible goes on to talk about specific people upon whom we should bestow honor.

You’ve heard the statement, “Familiarity breeds contempt,” and it is true.  We tend to take for granted those we are closest to.  We see their faults clearly, and sometimes we forget how much we love them in the midst of current difficulties.  But we can train our minds and our mouths to dwell on their good points. 

Other believers – 

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each of us esteem [honor] others better [more] than himself.  Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.Philippians 2:3, 4 

Be kindly affectionate to each other with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another. Romans 12:10

Honor all men. Love the brotherhood …. 1 Peter 2:17

Husbands/wives –

Likewise, husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; so that your prayers are not hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.  Husbands love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.Colossians 3:18, 19

Submission is not a popular topic in our day.  But essentially, submission is deferring to someone else and honoring him.  In the case of wives submitting to husbands, this honor is conferred by recognizing the husband’s role as head of the home and allowing him to move in the authority God has given him for the protection of the family unit.  For more on how honor between the husband and wife is meant to work, see Ephesians 5:21-33.  It is supposed to be a harmonious giving and receiving of honor, and when done rightly, blessing flows to all concerned. 

Parents/old people – Proverbs 30:17 gives us a vivid picture of what God thinks about those who do not respect their parents: “The eye that mocks at his father and despises to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.”  Bluntly, “If you don’t want to come to a bad end, don’t scorn your parents.” 

Throughout the Bible, the commandment to “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long” (Exodus 20:12), is repeated time and again.  Paul points out in Ephesians 6:2 that it is the first commandment with a promise attached to it – long life.  Honoring our parents is important to God, not only while we are young and growing up under their roof, but also once we have reached our adult years – even when our parents are old and feeble. 

Because our society has lost its respect for those who are not beautiful and full of youthful vigor, it is easy for those of us in the Church to slip into not esteeming the elderly as we ought. Yet God says, “You shall rise up before [stand up in respect toward] the white-haired head, and honor the face of the old man, and fear your God: I am the LORD” (Leviticus 19:32). 

Children – If we would see them from God’s perspective – who they are in Christ, what they will become as they mature, how valuable they are to Him – perhaps it would help us listen to them better and be more patient with them.  We always see Jesus treating them tenderly. 

Years ago, Romans 15:1 came to my attention in connection with having patience with my small children: “We, then, who are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.”  The verse could apply to anyone who tries our patience through their weaknesses or their need for care, from the very young to the very old. For me, it became a verse to help me bear the nonstop needs of my little ones. 

So, children must be honored, too.  We must remember that they have feelings that can be hurt deeply.  We need to listen to them, encourage them, and otherwise give them time and affection. 

On the other hand, indulging their every whim, not disciplining them, and giving them the same freedoms as adults when they have not yet learned to handle responsibility is a false honor that only brings destruction to their future.  Genuine honor keeps things in perspective, looking at the long term goal of bringing them up into their full potential in Christ Jesus. 

Next time: Honoring those in authority.

Previous: Understanding Honor (Part 3) — And Moves on to Them 
Next: Understanding Honor (Part 5) — Those in Authority 


All-Surpassing Peace in a Shaking World, by Lee Ann Rubsam


Understanding Honor (Part 3) — … And Moves on to Them


Last time I said that if we wish to receive honor, we must first give it – first to God, and then to other people. 

When asked which was the great commandment, Jesus replied, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.  This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39).  God always comes first, but the second great commandment is to love one’s fellow man as oneself.  Giving honor to others is part of fulfilling this command. 

We honor people on different levels and for different reasons.  The most basic place to start is in honoring all human beings — no matter who they are, what they look like, what they’ve done, and whether we agree with them or not – just because they all are God’s creation, made in His image.  1 Peter 2:17  says to “Honor all men ….”

I think we’ve got a lot to work on at this basic level.  Respect for others just because of their human status has really been lost in our culture, and the Church isn’t doing much better with it than the world around us.  We seem to think that if people hold a different viewpoint than ours, or if they indulge in certain sins, that it’s OK to revile them, whether in our outward speech or in our heads.  But scorn is not a virtue.  “Blessed is the man who does not … sit in the seat of the scornful” (Psalm 1:1). 

I’m not saying that anything goes, or that we are to tolerate everything.  We can recognize and oppose wrong thinking and wrong behavior – but in the process, we must treat people with respect and tact.  Probably the primary reason that we have not had great success in reaching the lost is because we have not honored them.  To honor is to love.  Perhaps we’ve been too busy looking down our religious snoots to be able to see them as Jesus sees them — valuable, potential-filled, love-worthy beings.  We sometimes forget the muck that we ourselves have come out of and the grace that was given to us in our early days in Christ. 

When being right is more important to us than respecting those who may be in the wrong, we are eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, rather than the tree of life.  It got Adam and Eve into big trouble, and it still gets us into trouble today. 

Next time we’ll bring it down to some nitty-gritty details of honoring others.

Previous: Understanding Honor (Part 2) — It Starts with Him 
Next: Understanding Honor (Part 4) — Who Should Receive It?


All-Surpassing Peace in a Shaking World, by Lee Ann Rubsam