An Honest Account of Sickness and Healing

bacteriaI have been quite ill for the past two months with a bacterial infection. Thankfully, I am now on the mend. Dozens of people faithfully prayed for me during this time, and I so appreciate all the prayers. I thought it might be good to share the journey with you.

We have many sure-word promises of healing in the Bible, and I believe in them with all my heart. I claimed those promises, as did my praying friends. But when I didn’t immediately and miraculously get well, some people were troubled. A couple of well-meaning folks suggested unforgiveness in my heart was the culprit. This was very discouraging! I dutifully brought their concerns before the Lord, but did not feel their assessment was accurate. Others who know me well did not feel it was, either.

When healing doesn’t happen quickly or supernaturally, the tendency is to try to figure it out, and if we can’t, to start laying blame, usually on the sick person. This is very common in Charismatic/Pentecostal circles, and it is detrimental to the person who needs healing. It comes from a pervading “works” mentality, which believes it is all about us doing and speaking every iota perfectly in order for the Bible promises to be attained. We think our performance brings the answers, instead of putting our trust in Jesus our Healer. In essence, we want to come up with a formula to fix ourselves, instead of admitting our weakness and utter dependence upon Him.

A pastor friend felt God revealed to him that I would have to go through the  difficulties, but that it would all end well. He shared the story of Paul’s shipwreck, in Acts 27 and 28. He particularly mentioned that Paul had been bitten by a venomous snake on the island of Melita, and at first people jumped to the conclusion that it was due to Paul having sinned. But that was not the truth. The process was part of God’s plan, He did receive glory, and Paul came out of it all right in the end.

Someone reminded me of Romans 8:28, “… All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” This fit well with what our pastor friend had shared. I began to get a glimpse of God’s higher perspective and that somehow God was at work for His glory and my good in ways I couldn’t yet see.

The Lord gave me two particular Scriptures which I have prayed often throughout this ordeal:

Psalm 41:3“The Lord will sustain and strengthen him on his sickbed; in his illness, You will restore him to health.” (AMP)

Psalm 23:1-3“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want [lack]. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul….”

I had moments of fear, and prayed Psalm 56:3, 4: “What time I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God I will praise His Word; in God I have put my trust. I will not fear what flesh can do to me.” Many times I said, “Lord, I put myself completely in Your hands. That’s all I can do.” I have not had perfect faith or perfect peace. At times I felt very hopeless. The emotional toll has been great. I relied on my husband’s faith and the faith of friends when I didn’t have much of my own.

The Lord uncovered some attitude flaws during this time — issues I had not realized I had. The whole experience has been extremely humbling. But refining is always a good thing, and I am grateful for it.

In the end, the Lord has brought healing through doctors and a treatment I would have preferred to have avoided. But His hand and timing have been on it all. I hope for better days ahead, although it will be a couple of weeks yet before we’ll be certain that no more treatment is necessary.

If I had had my own way, I would have preferred miraculous healing, without the need for all the doctoring. I don’t yet know how this will ultimately bring God glory. I do believe we should be healed supernaturally far more often than we are. But I know He does things the best way, I am not in control, and I have to trust Him for the outcome.

No matter what trouble He allows us to pass through, the Lord is always with us in the midst of it, and at the right moment, He will bring us out of it. Our challenge is to cling to Him and not let go while we persevere in believing in His goodness and His promises.

I hope that my honest story will assure someone else who has health issues that you are not a failure just because you are struggling. If it has helped, would you please take the time to leave a comment? Thank you!

prophetic intercession



The Intercessor Manual,
by Lee Ann Rubsam



nature of God



Before Whom We Stand,
by Lee Ann Rubsam


8 responses to “An Honest Account of Sickness and Healing

  1. Simply awesome! It’s often hard to stop and give your fears and worries to God. And, it is so true that all sickness we suffer are not a result of sin. It is also true that we suffer to seek God and when it is over we learn why and how God has used that for our good. I have learned through time to just pray! Pray during those times for peace. Praying for understanding isn’t something I ask for though. But, after the suffering is over, I see the changes within myself. I see a compassion that I had not had previous to that. It’s something that many lack in today’s society.
    I never once even hinted or thought this was a result of. That, in itself, is a judgement no one should pass on anyone. The focus for me was prayer. I sometimes feel my voice isn’t strong enough because I am far from the example Christ asks us to be, but I still pray and ask that He hear my prayer.
    Those that know you, love you and are so thankful you are doing better. Sometimes we need the help from doctors, who are knowledgeable about how to help. I had to seek help with my cervical issues as well, and am truly thankful for all they did and continue to do. Yes, I prayed and others prayed but it took a bit of meducal help. It happened as a way to humble myself to ask for help. To seek God as well.
    You are one of the most spiritual people I know, with a constant desire to follow God’s will and help others in the process. God does, and will, prevail❤


  2. Thank you for posting this! I have often wondered why God didn’t heal someone I was praying for…He truly has our best in mind and we have to rest in His plan, whether it’s walking through the sickness or miraculous healing. I believe we will start seeing more of the miraculous in the times ahead!!


  3. I appreciate your insight and agree with our tendency to try and figure it out. You’re so right that just takes us back to works. Jesus paid it all. I’m glad you’re on the mend.


  4. Hi Lee-Ann
    I fell and hurt my shoulder badly resulting in my rotator cuff being damaged and after some bad surgery, I’m still in a sling recovering. I’ve found that this has been a time where God has been speaking to me a lot.
    This has been a Jeremiah experience for me. We read in Jer. 38:5-6 And Zedekiah the king said, “Look, he is in your hand, for the king is not able to do a thing against you.” 6 So they took Jeremiah and threw him into the pit of Malchiah, the son of the king, which was in the courtyard of the guard. And they let Jeremiah down by ropes. Now in the pit there was no water, but only mud, and Jeremiah sank in the mud.”

    Please read what God said to me through this time of testing, this article is on our website:


    • Thanks for reading at my blog, Len! It’s wonderful how God has been speaking to you, using your shoulder injury as a springboard to teach you about the government (power) being upon His shoulder (and our shoulder). A friend suggested recently that perhaps this time when we are all hunkering down due to the coronavirus may be, at least in part, God bringing us into a Sabbath rest to refocus our hearts on Him, just as you have spent more time listening to Him while you are recuperating.

      Many blessings,
      Lee Ann


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